mar2 in idea barrages

1.) Is a controlling polygamist a possessive plural?

2.) I only divulge my breadmaking skills on a knead-to-know basis.

3.) If someone drops a tree on your house and you don’t immediately yell “lumber-JERK!” at them, you have just squandered the only upside to having a tree dropped on your house.

4.) The best thing to yell at weird neckbeards mad that people who aren’t straight white men get representation in popular media is “IT’S DORA THE EXPLORER, NOT FEDORA THE EXPLORER!”

5.) Your film about Christopher Walken becoming a zombie but no one can tell because he’s Christopher Walken will be called DEAD MAN WALKEN. It will be terrible.

6.) I’d do much more interesting things than oppress workers in perpetuity, were I a billionaire. I’d painstakingly recreate an episode of HAPPY DAYS with retired baseball star Ryan Howard in the Ron Howard role, just to make myself laugh, for example.

7.) Irony Man, Irony Man, feigns smarts lazy as he can, his jokes are cheap listen pal, he just markets in nostalgia, look out, there goes the Irony Man

8.) Convince at least one person today that Matthew Perry is Katy Perry’s dad.