mar1 in idea barrages

1.) The trick, I guess, is to guide people toward being better to each other without having your message corrupted by the power structure built to disseminate it. Jesus, Mohammad, Buddha, whoever you like, their followers all failed at it.

2.) Everything you want to fire into an enemy’s castle from a massive siege engine before you die goes on your Trebuchet List.

3.) The weirder the ice cream, the more normal it is for a grown adult to be eating it out the box in public. Halo Top Mango Kale Crunch? Not an eye batted. Ben & Jerry’s Green Book Pistachio Swirl? Accepted. Store-brand Neapolitan? Instantly committed.

4.) An American Tale predicted the potholes of Utica, a place where the streets are paved with Swiss cheese.

5.) “Add a phone number to (facebook page you administer)! More people engage pages with phone numbers on them!” Zuckerberg’s getting desperate for phone numbers to skim and sell to advertisers, I see.

6.) The grocery store your parents took you to as a child no longer exists. All the money in the world could not bring you back there. It irrevocably no longer exists.

7.) Rats don’t flee a sinking ship at first. They hope the ship will be abandoned but not sink & they’ll get a run of the food there. Eventually, however, the rats realize the whole thing’s going down & start swimming like mad. They’re about to start swimming.

8.) Convince at least one person today that you think chamomile tea is “camel meal tea”.

9.) One fun thing about American English is how common it is that someone is rareing to go.

10.) What has pointy ears, a green tunic and sucks? (Link-182.)

11.) Maybe things “happen for a reason” but whenever you’re counting on things happening for a reason, you will be at the mercy of dumb old luck.

12.) Your Ernest P Worrell films tribute burlesque show will be called ERNEST GOES TO VAMP and it will be MAGNIFICENT.

13.) Using the Red Hot Chili Peppers dictionary is Scrabble on easy mode.

14.) A year and a half of eating low-carb to control my blood sugar, there are still hours every day when I just want to eat Triscuits until I suffocate and die happy for the first time in a dog’s age.

15.) Sometimes it isn’t the punch or the impact, it is the reaction, it is the set of reflexes it evokes that matters.

16.) The weirdest choice in the history of rock was choosing to properly use “Whom” in the lyrics of “Should I Say Or Should I Go?” The 2nd weirdest was releasing Evanescence’s “Wake Me Up” as a rock ballad as opposed to a comedy novelty song but that was an accident.