janu23 in idea barrages

1.) A series of infomercials where Lou Ferigno endorses a line of sponges called “Loofa Ringos”.

2.) Dear billionaires, please fund a lavish woman-led remake of Lawrence of Arabia called FLORENCE OF ARABIA to piss off the fedora-ed “men’s rights activists” of the internet. Thank you.

3.) Internet Glowup: 2009 - in bed all day yelling “OH GOD! OH GOD!” because you are in a physically fulfilling committed relationship. 2019 - in bed all day yelling “OH GOD! OH GOD!” because the absurdity of world events pushed you to nervous breakdown.

4.) Y’know, the same people defending a bunch of racist kids radicalized by attending a conservative religious high school were hella yelling about how awful Islamic madrasas are, just a few years back. Just pointing this out.

5.) If YOUNG SHELDON had been about time-travelers trying to prevent BIG BANG THEORY, that’s a show I would’ve got behind.

6.) Thing about using the Rapture as the hook for your post-apocalypse book is, like, aren’t there only supposed to be 144,000 elect in some versions? If across a world of 8 billion, 144,000 disappeared, would we even collectively notice at first?

7.) Today’s song for Ollie is to the tune of DUCKTALES and involves the line “FAT DOG, WOO-OO!”

8.) This is what abandoning Clinton for the Bernie cult and the Stein con has wrought, letting Trump into DC means all these bigots, like the MAGA hat racist kid, think that they can just lie and double-down on their horrors, just like their hero, instead of apologizing and hiding.

9.) Follow the roadies for The Weeknd around with a boombox playing “Everybody’s Working For The Weekend” on loop until they either kill you or become your best friends.

10.) Caesar Romero’s NIGHT OF THE LAUGHING DEAD.