janu19 in idea barrages

1.) I’ve lived a life of alternating insane expectations or no expectations, now is the time to try to live a life of some expectations, just-above-average expectations. Try that for a while.

2.) The worst bench player on the worst team in the major leagues, a lot of people said that he was the best that they had in person ever seen, when he was fifteen. And they weren’t lying. Context and time have so much power over us.

3.) If you think about it, Kylo Ren was partially Han-made.

4.) I don’t know what “trap music” is but if the Canal Days festivals in Little Falls in August taught me anything, bad country and western cover bands are “tarp music”.

5.) People should be able to say “hey, we’re attracted to each other and can handle each other’s flaws, let’s skip ahead to we’ve been together for six months and everything is comfortable now” and just be there.

6.) When you yell “PEOPLE ARE TOO SENSITIVE!” you are yelling “PEOPLE AREN’T LETTING ME BULLY ANYMORE AND IT’S MAKING ME FEEL BULLIED!” Stop. Get perspective. Instead of calling people snowflakes, go play in the actual snow. Breathe.

7.) The two best ways to first try stand-up are either (a.) in front of strangers you will never see again or (b.) in front of friends who won’t judge you if you’re terrible the first time, depending on your personality. It’s like your first time having sex, in that respect.

8.) If people are going to keep not voting for people just because they don’t agree with them 100% even when the alternative is a monster, we aren’t going to have democracy and, by and large, we won’t deserve it.

9.) Maybe if I didn’t hate wearing jeans, I would’ve forced myself to lose enough weight to not look awful in jeans when I was young but I zipped myself up in jeans once when I was three and never wore them again so here we are, gang.

10.) We are now past the point where even Alternate 1985 Biff Tannen would look at the news from the White House and say “C’mon, that’s just cartoonishly evil, dial it back, Butthead.”

11.) Use italics on Reddit because 4chan favors the bold.

12.) We could focus our futures together into the stars but instead we squabble over old fairy tales and build up walls to further sub-divide a dying Earth, whatever makes us look “stronger” in the shortest of terms. It sucks.

13.) Buy a prairie dog for every zoo in the world, under the caveat that they are all named William S. Burrows.

14.) It’s like the entire mild winter thusfar was just the season charging up its energy meter for one big attack on our happiness.

15.) Listen alla y’all cuz it’s arbitrage, listen alla y’all cuz it’s arbitrage, Listen Alla Y’all Cuz It’s Arbitrage, LISTEN ALLA Y’ALL CUZ IT’S ARBITRAGE!

16.) AA Milne’s success with the Pooh Bear stories got him a quick promotion to AAA Milne and then Major League Milne soon after that.

17.) Dean Stockgood < Dean Stockwell < Dean Stockbest