janu9 in idea barrages

1.) This week in “Terrible Pharma Ads On Facebook Where The Generic Name Sounds Like An NPR On-Air Talent” is CHANTIX (varenicline). “For Marketplace, I’m Varen Icline.”

2.) Curiously, the plural of “Jan Michael Vincent” is neither “Jan Michael Vincents” nor “Jans Michael Vincent”, it is “Jan Michaels Vincent”. In grammar, this is known as “The Vincent Exception”.

3.) Single-cell organisms gettin’ in shape for beach weather, doin’ their anaerobics.

4.) I hope the next big trend in pyramid schemes is unessential oils.

5.) Current facebook-bot looking to be my friend: a picture of a Caucasian woman claiming to work at a college in Texas with the name “Brijesh Brijesh”. Do they think “they let Trump in the White House, they must be that dumb”?

6.) Now, probably the weirdest and grossest parody I could ever write would be to the tune of “Zoot Suit Riot” and be called “Fur Suit Riot” but thankfully, there’s little call for it.

7.) The dog is absolutely guaranteed to pee on anything he knows to be a suitcase because he knows those things take humans away from him. He’s smart-dumb like that.

8.) A website begging you to whitelist from adblock is a one-night-stand begging you “no condoms, I’m totally clean”. Yeah, no. There may not be viruses in your ads today but when the next economic downturn loosens your ad standards, they’ll be there.

9.) Ridin’ that line between hope and presumption, just like the rest of the species, though not all of us will admit it to ourselves, let alone to each other.

10.) Pander to the gamers by calling your French Toast recipe “Dead Bread Redemption”.

11.) Child of a lighthouse keeper and an Atlantian royal, Aquaman’s a real son of a beach.