de27 in idea barrages

1.) A painting of five different personae of Doug Funnie playing cards with each other called “Dougs Playing Poker”.

2.) I feel like we’re near a point where a Kevin Spacey/Donald Trump/Louis C.K./Woody Allen/Harvey Weinstein/Bill Cosby-type will admit their crimes and flat out say “I’m rich & famous & your better so the law should not apply to me” & see what happens.

3.) Capsaicin is the reasoning for the seasoning.

4.) Tonight’s song for Ollie involves the lines: “I’m dreaming of a white fuzz-dog/just like the fat one over there/that looks like a wiglet/grunts like a piglet/and poop sticks to his butt-hair”.

5.) Winter solstice is really just about hoping the light will return to our days, lengthening out with the return of the prodigal sun.

6.) It’s important to remember A Christmas Story only became a “classic” because Turner owned it so it was cheap to run and It’s A Wonderful Life only because it was accidentally in the public domain for a while and free to air. Half of tradition is frugal repetition.

7.) Bonus holiday song for walking Ollie: “have yourself a merry little poop-butt/let your dog be fat/from now on, he’s stealing vittles from the cat”

8.) Football Observation From A Baseball Fan: the Oakland Raiders are so bad, they can’t even tank for draft picks properly.

9.) A casino at 2AM on Christmas Day is a weird mostly-empty thing but hey, made 15 bucks.

10.) I’m no theologian but all I can tell you is I’ve read the New Testament many times and, if there was a wall keeping desperate people away from a better life, Jesus Christ wouldn’t be building it, He’d be waiting in line with an axe to tear it down. Merry Christmas.

11.) Midnight Energy equals Midnight Mass times The Speed Of Light squared.

12.) If you think about it, DIE HARD is the homeopathic Christmas movie, so little Christmas, so watered down it can be hardly detected and yet some believe that makes its Christmasness somehow MORE powerful, not less, because they’re crazy.

13.) I should probably do a parody of that old boy band songs “Quit Playing Games With My Heart” about the board game OPERATION but then I would have to listen to that terrible song.

14.) Mockumentary about a true crime podcast going to a “Murder She Wrote” type town w/ 100s of killings all solved by one elderly detective, trying to figure out how there could be so much gruesome death in one small New England town. Maybe the podcasters think she’s done them all!

15.) If you save a Wookie’s hide, he owes you a life debt. If you save a Mon Calamari, it’s more of a squid-pro-quo.