de13 in idea barrages

1.) Sometimes I wonder what DRACULA and FRANKENSTEIN would’ve been like if the same broad story strokes were the same but you swapped the authors.

2.) The name of the most recent facebook porn bot to try and friend me is “Omat Dedon Sterling”. If I ever need the name of a tomato demon for a story, that’s the name I’ll use.

3.) If you play Curly’s “wuub-wuub-wuub” sound backwards, it sounds like “Shemp’s dead, miss him, miss him, miss him”.

4.) Do The Fashion Police have a special Hat Crimes division?

5.) Whenever ideological coherency trumps actually being humane to the real people living real lives on the ground beneath ideology’s lofty towers, we all lose. Our job is to ameliorate each others’ suffering, not “be on the winning team”.

6.) Am I actually an intermittently intriguing-and-frustrating eccentric or am I just playing weird-to-get?

7.) At the first blush, of course it’s Almond Joy but then eventually you get into an Almond Rut and then it’s all Almond Resentment and Almond Despair and you end up cheating on it with someone that’s got Mounds and 100 Grand.

8.) A gender reveal party where the colour of the centre of the cake is blackish-green then a xenomorph Alien bursts out of the husband’s chest.

9.) If she’s smuggling cocaine in her bra, are those titty grams?

10.) A gender reveal party where the colour of the centre of the cake is yellow and black striped and, in the confusion, a swarm of angry bees in unleashed on the crowd.

11.) When everyone from the KGB to the National Enquirer to Wikileaks was involved in a campaign to protect Trump & smear Clinton, maybe you’d think the fringe left would reconsider how they were played into hating her but nah, they’re too entrenched.

12.) HOT SPORTS TAKE: the MLB allowing the Mets and Marlins to be owned by groups functionally-insolvent due to debts or being over-leveraged is a particularly cynical sort of soft collusion to depress the labour market for player salaries.

13.) A pair of conjoined twins in Prague ended up with a pretty hefty doctor’s bill but don’t worry, they ended up with separate Czechs.

14.) The depths of how little I want to do the cleaning I need to do the next couple of days are beyond my skills with the English language.

Last updated December 12, 2018