de12 in idea barrages

1.) The Jolly Green Giant. Huge, if true.

2.) I love it when someone points out that an older celebrity looks healthy and youthful for their age. I just want to say “yes, they are a multi-millionaire, they can afford trainers and stylists and dietitians and stylists and make-up people, they pretty much should.”

3.) Your BDSM accessories store will be called “On The Beaten Path”.

4.) Your metal band that only plays songs about the television show WHO’S THE BOSS will be called “Judith Priest”.

5.) Today’s song for the dog is to the tune of the Gummi Bears theme song and involves the line “OLLIE-BEAR! POOPING HERE AND THERE AND EVERYWHERE! CAN’T CONFRONT HIM, HE WILL ONLY STARE! HE IS THE OLLIE-BEAR!”

6.) My pragmatic liberalism bugs fringe-left friends a lot more than conservatives. Righties can realize “oh, he’s just a genuinely over-empathetic bleeding heart” & dismiss me, the far-left gets confused by my desire for slow change as opposed to the bloodshed of sudden revolt.

7.) I mean, yeah, I’d enjoy a Christmas special where the North Pole is melting and Santa has to come to terms with the environmental implications of giving out all that coal to bad children but, like, I have an odd sense of humour.

8.) WEDDING CRASHERS would’ve been a very different film had it been about incompetent limo drivers.

9.) If your iPhone is on a family plan, isn’t it more of a wePhone?

10.) It might be worth making a childrens’ book called “Frets, The Guitar With Anxiety” just for the pun.

11.) The song for the dog has switched to “WHAT IS DOG? OLLIE STOP FARTING, STOP FARTING, OH LORD”.

12.) If you make your Hanukkah driedel coins out of cocoa butter without any cocoa solids, does that make it “white gelt”?