no18 in idea barrages

1.) Psychics staging bloodless simulacra of the future’s battles, historical pre-enactors.

2.) An Amazon warehouse with low pay, impossible hours and exploitative work conditions isn’t “job-creation” it’s “wealth creation”. If you’re not facilitating jobs that people can actually live off and live with, you don’t get any credit.

3.) Even if I manage great success on the back nine of my life, it will still feel incomplete because I didn’t do it fast enough to share it with my father. I know that he was proud of me either way but still.

4.) Terrible cheap beer was the social networking of every generation before this one.

5.) Words are the only intermediary we have between the disconnected islands of our individual minds and the fact that they’re imperfect only means we have to use them all the more delicately.

6.) The adoption of military-style “challenge coins” by people who never served their country but like to sit around hoarding weapons and dreaming on a race war is not only stolen valor but a canary in the coalmine of our cultural collapse.

7.) Half frat boy. Half machine. All cop. BROBROCOP.

8.) Another parody with no audience, Steely Dan’s “Gaucho” about Groucho Marx. WHO IS THAT GROUCHO, AMIGO/WHY IS HE STANDING/WITH THAT DUCK FROM IN THE CEILING/AND THAT BUSHY MUSTACHE TOO/OLD VAUDEVILLE COMICS/SUCH AS YOUR FRIEND/WILL NEVER BE WELCOME HERE/DOWN IN THE OPERA HOUSE

9.) At least the sad sack who thinks the stripper actually likes him is getting a lap dance. The guy who thinks the Hooters waitress actually likes him is getting mediocre wings and THAT is the saddest thing.

10.) The sequel to GREEN EGGS AND HAM “Son Of Sam I Am” was a lot less kid-friendly.