oc24 in idea barrages

1.) The only good thing about “Saw” was imagining all horror movie titles in the past tense. “Nightmares That Occured On Elm Street”. “Child Played”. “Screamed”.

2.) Most of the time, yes, saying “I ONLY LIKE THEIR EARLY STUFF” is a hipster move but then there is Weezer being the exception that proves the rule.

3.) It’s like a LARP except instead of pretending you’re stout halflings, you pretend you’re old. It’s called aged-action roleplaying or AARP for short.

4.) Putting sloppy joe mix onto pancakes probably would taste bad but the name “flappy joes” would probably be worth it just the same.

5.) Self-care is resistance. If you need to recharge to keep up the fight another day, you do that. Even Sam in QUANTUM LEAP was offered a sabbatical. As long as when you get your energy back, you jump back in, it was all part of long game.

6.) Going to my first memorial service since Dad’s was… draining… but I was honoured to be there to support one of my best friends in his time of loss.

7.) Sometimes I think about how gentrified Sesame Street would be by now in reality. Hooper’s would be a Starbucks, the apartment building would be a yoga studio with a second yoga studio in the attic and Oscar’s can would be a $2500 a month studio apartment.

8.) I hope that the culinary school yearbook is called “Fond Memories”.

9.) Sell pumpkins in the Finger Lakes under the name “Ithaca is Gourdeous”.

10.) If you can’t take the irony, stay outta the kitschin’.

11.) Neil DeGrasse Tyson Chicken is good but it’s INCREDIBLY condescending.

12.) If you can eat your Caesar salad in twenty-three fork stabs, you get extra points.

13.) Cookie Monster tried his best to keep the shameful family secret of his cousin Dookie.

14.) Convince someone that, despite selling Tex-Mex inspired chips, Frito-Lay was started by a half German half Irish man named “Fritz O’Lay”.

15.) Had a terrifying dream about going back to school and reality breaking down. Forgetting my schedule, my classes, everything devolving into total surrealism. A philosophy of reality class that was actually a cult? Only when I woke up did I realize I hadn’t lost my mind.