oc12 in idea barrages

1.) I see… I see… I see a loss of a small amount of money in your future. That’ll be twenty dollars.

2.) …how was there never a GOOD EATS episode called “Stock Footage”?

3.) It’s a shame “comorbidity” is already claimed by “diseases that tend to show up together” because it’d be a great word for when goths are living together but aren’t yet married.

4.) Your band that covers Huey Lewis songs in the emo style will be called “Hip To Despair”.

5.) Instead of a Third World War, we had a bunch of wars that burned the third world down and now we reap that whirlwind.

6.) I still say “Channing Tatum” sounds like a breed of rare bird. “Oh look, a channing tatum!” “How do you know it’s not a regular tatum?” “See the striping around the wings?” “Yeah.” “That’s called channing.”

7.) Somehow I think this whole timeline could be mended by a really tight mash-up of Beck “Hotwax” and Soul Coughing “Down To this”.

8.) If there’s ever a militant neo-Amish group that wants technology frozen back to the early 1990s, I hope they’re referred to as Radical Extremists. Or RADIKOOL XTREMIZTZ, anyway.

9.) One of my less mature joys is pretending to think that it’s pronounced “Dragon Ballz” when talking to anime fans.

10.) Every time you watched “The Facts of Life”, you were watching Tootie in 2-D.

11.) Conan the Barbarian was scary but Onan the Barbarian was really scary, he’d just run into battle fiddling with himself and everyone would just run away.

12.) An Aerosmith-branded sugary Japanese-style mayo called “Sweet Emulsion” would be a terrible idea.

13.) The radio keeps referring to this weekend’s storms as “the remnants of Michael” and I gotta say, I can’t help but be offended.