se18 in idea barrages

1.) If someone says you’re over the hill, just say “That’s a pretty lucky hill, then” and wink.

2.) Of course the Republican party loves football. Where do you find people brain-damaged enough to vote for them without the legacies of heavily-concussed youth?

3.) Sometimes what you really need is someone who will sit beside you, watch bad movies and good cooking shows with, who’ll occasionally tell you you’re handsome and mean it.

4.) The punishment of a public flogging may actually be less humiliating than a public vlogging, these days.

5.) What would really seal us being in the Bad Timeline would be if there’s a follow-up to GNOMEO AND JULIET and SHERLOCK GNOMES that’s a 007 parody called DR. GNOME.

6.) An oral history of fake psychics called AURAL HISTORY.

7.) It seems like, in a game of Russian Roulette, Jesus would have an unfair advantage.

8.) Your song about a romance between two street performers will be called “Buskrat Love”.

9.) A universe where Bart Simpson’s catchphrase was not “Don’t Have A Cow, Man!” rather “That Which Was Not Born Can Never Die, Man!”

10.) An American-brewed sake called Weeabooze?

11.) Language is the operating system through which the mind interpolates reality. The parameters of your existence are shaped by how your words understand things and the way your system arranges them.

12.) Remember when Pat Buchanan was the worst-case-scenario as president? We were so innocent then.

13.) Our treatment of refugees at something as silly and meaningless as a border is our Guernica but I haven’t the eye or brush to make solid the horrors there that the cold hearted might finally see.

14.) REAL TALK: The X-Men would be forced to go new interesting story places if Wolverine would just stay dead.

15.) Being the rare fluke to get rich in indie film was my generation’s pipedream, being the rare fluke to get rich on youtube was your generation’s pipedream. We were both crazy.

16.) Remember: “why does everything have to be political?” means “the injustice does not affect me personally so I do not care”.