se14 in idea barrages

1.) They should’ve named Kramer on SEINFELD “Murray” so they could have called his entrances “Murray Pop-Ins”.

2.) The nerdiest possible name for an infomercial food-prep device would be a Dicin’ Sphere and I wanna buy three.

3.) Apple will invent the world’s first robotic hipster. It will be called the iRonic.

4.) For now we see as in a mirror dimly, as in a scanner darkly, as in a telephone touchscreen occluded by our expectations and our regrets but there will come an end of Facetimes and in that time we will see it all, face-to-face.

5.) I don’t remember if FOLLOW THAT BIRD explained how Count Von Count could go out driving in daylight and it BUGS me.

6.) Maybe but prob’ly not, you will witness no magic as that’s what you are, an anti-magic avatar disspelling the fog of a blinded demiurge believing itself God, weaving no enchantments but disenchanting instead so these lost shards of light might shine again. Prob’ly not but maybe.

7.) Anything is possible, everything is very unlikely and there, in-between the two, is you. A Schrodinger’s cat trapped in a box of your own understanding. You get to decide, are you actually alive? There’s no one out there to observe otherwise, it’s all on you now.

8.) Why is it a one-night stand when (most of the time) it happens laying down?

9.) Poison Ivy’s heart, however, would always belong to Harley Quinn, leaving Two-Face in the frond zone.

10.) REAL TALK: the lesser of two evils is less evil, does less damage and is easier to fight back against, ya loons.

11.) It is important to point out that Nickleback and Creed are abominations, of course, but it’s not any particular generation’s fault, Ted Nugent and KISS were just as terrible.

12.) I guess my style, what with it being mostly Dockers and poorly-ironed short-sleeve dress shirts, I guess you’d call it “bigness casual”.

13.) I am tall, mostly clever, have great hair and try my best to be kind. If that sounds nice, I’m around.