se12 in idea barrages

  • Sept. 11, 2018, 1:40 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) ACTUALLY, only the castle was called Wolfenstein. First person shooting games are Wolfenstein’s monster.

2.) Mostly, I’d just wanna write a Green Lantern Corp comic so I could have a minor character call them “Pigs In Space”.

3.) Build a better gas mask painted up like a sugar skull and a world of culturally-appropriating hipsters will beat a path to your door.

4.) A guide to dating conspiracy theorists called Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Mars.

5.) A parody of Convoy about how Conroy was clearly the best Batman.

6.) Edit The Flaming Lips “Feeling Yourself Disintegrate” over the climax to Infinity War.

7.) Goodwill Industries: Sorting Through The Ashes Of An Empire That Doesn’t Even Know It’s Dead!

8.) No, the nerdiest thing you could write would be a parody of “How Bizarre” about the Pokemon character Bulbasaur.

9.) I call B.S. on Brits calling aluminum “AHL-U-LIN-I-UM” because they don’t say platinum “PLAHT-I-NUMMY-NUM”.

10.) You might see an ink-blot or, well, maybe you don’t, that says 15 miles to the RORSCHACH, Rorschach baby, RORSCACH BABY RORSCACH

11.) All internet arguments will eventually get to the point where they involve a giant telepathic gorilla. That’s Groddwin’s Law.

12.) The hardest part of bartending for experimental composers if figuring out if Philip Glass is half-full or half-empty.

13.) I liked how early vapes made it look like you were straight-up taking swigs off a bottle of gasoline additive.

14.) It’s my new app called Napp. It turns off your phone for a minimum of eight hours, forcing you to get some goddamn sleep.

15.) If you wanna feel old, think about this, there’s thousands of people we killed in Iraq for no reason after 9-11 that have been dead over fifteen years now. That’s how old you are.

16.) As this disaster of a Mets season fades to black, I soon get to not give a damn about sports (unless Syracuse basketball overachieves) until Spring Training. It’s sort of a relief.

17.) The French word for “trendy for no discernible reason” is “lacroix”.

18.) A good way to stop an evil artificial intelligence would be to ask it “Which looks like it will be worse, THE HOUSE WITH A CLOCK IN ITS WALLS or NIGHT SCHOOL?” Its mind will recoil, overload and explode and you will have saved the world.

19.) If I had Disney’s money and Marvel’s actors’/directors’/producers’ connections, I’d start paying really famous people to hang out on the AVENGERS 4 reshoot sets, just to mess with people. Oprah. Obama. Queen Liz. Cher. Tom Cruise. Go nuts with it.

20.) Instead of counting down 3, 2, 1 before a race, everyone in the audience ought to just chant “CAR! GO! FAST!” and then the race starts.

21.) A horror movie about a big game hunter who snaps and starts methodically hunting down people at a furry convention, at least it would be a new idea.


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