se10 in idea barrages

1.) The film bored Dracula and the Wolfman but Frankenstein was just riveted.

2.) The apostle who didn’t show up to defend Jesus because he was too busy watching weird period pieces on PBS was forever known as “Downton Thomas”.

3.) If you get Nicki Minaj to say her name backwards, she has to return to the 5th Dimension for 90 days.

4.) There is no one in the world who finds the idea of swapping Judd Nelson’s and Judd Hirsch’s iconic acting roles more funny than I do.

5.) What sort of bizarre masochist would you have to be to watch A CHRISTMAS STORY more than once in your lifetime, let alone for a day straight?

6.) Cardi B is a clone of the failed pop music experiment Cardi A. When B burns out, she will be replaced by Cardi C who will have really gnarly facial tattoos. Cardi D will have robot arms, Cardi E will be a ferret-human hybrid. Progress marches on.

7.) Yes, dilithium crystals are needed to run starships but they’re not the power source. They just focus and regulate the power of probiotics and antibiotics annihilating each other to create pure energy.

8.) The Amazing Randi wished that we may “live in interesting times” on a monkey’s paw to prove magic isn’t real and, at that second, Vlad Putin phoned Donald Trump and said he was calling in that favor. Years later, here we are.

9.) My grandfather’s nickname was “Deets” because that’s how my dad (or maybe one of his siblings) said “Daddy” as a kid, that’s why I shorten “details” as “deets”. I feel like I have to explain myself on this one.

10.) It’s too bad the “Big Dick Energy” meme lasted like two weeks because I totally could’ve changed my twitter name to Big Thick Energy.

11.) Your mockumentary about the collapse of Herman, Eddie and Grandpa’s metal band will be called SOME KIND OF MUNSTER.