ju27 in idea barrages

1.) Because you can never assume how someone identifies, I like to stick with the perhaps-outdated but gender-respectful plural “peeps”. Yeah, it’s from a time when “Bennifer” was still used unironically but it’s more humane and so I go with it.

2.) having a girl in every port, he said/was just to broad-en his horizons/so many numbers in his cell phone/he got a medal from Verizon

3.) If there’s gridlock in the Golgoltha section of Jerusalem, is that crosstown Crosstown traffic?

4.) I try to explain to the dog that as long as we can help it, he will never be without a human so don’t get so anxious when I have to go away for six hours, I’ll be back, but he just looks up at me with his patented “I want what the cat’s eating” look in his eyes, oblivious.

5.) A Hotel California parody about livin’ it up in a house made of bologna would probably be fun but would require far too much “listening to the Eagles” to accomplish and I guess I’ll hold on to what’s left of my sanity as oppose to taking on that project.

6.) Sometimes it feels like the balance of our National Sickness is simple socioeconomic Stockholm Syndrome. looking up toward our captors and trying to make them even happier in the hopes that might lead them to abusing us less or even making us one of their own, if we get lucky.

7.) One of the great things about slouching toward middle age is being able to stand away from how absurdly toxic Fandom has become. Sure I was definitely there in the trenches as it STARTED to get toxic in the middle-90s but I’m “Internet Old” now, for sure, and thank God for that.

8.) Try to focus on your little stupid regrets, not the big life-changing ones, it’s healthier. For example: I regret that when I went to the Bio-Sphere outside of Tucson, I didn’t make a joke about “Dr. Paul Shore” and his “groundbreaking work with the Bio-Dome” at the tour guide.