apr18 in idea barrages

1.) She took to cashiering so quickly that it all seemed counter-intuitive.

2.) I hope that the remake of “BJ And The Bear” will be called APE MISBEHAVIN’.

3.) Sneak into a rally of bigots with a “It’s Florence And The Machine, Not Lawrence And The Machine!” sign, just to mess with them.

4.) If you read the Book of Revelation as intended, as the psychedelic conspiracy theories of a hermit high on mushrooms, hiding on some obscure Greek isle, who really really really really really hates the Roman Empire, it’s actually hilarious science-fiction satire.

5.) Ready to found his toy company but lacking a name, he had no idea what to call it until his son called to tell him he’d been kicked out of his college frat and suddenly it hit him. “HAS-BRO!”

6.) Sphinx cats aren’t bred like normal cats. Mohels save up their collected foreskins and around two hundred or so, they’ll spontaneously become a sphinx kitten.

7.) Not enough people know the Steely Dan song “Black Cow” for me to write a parody about Batman’s cowl and, frankly, it’s your loss, world.

8.) Where do we go, where do we go meow, where do we go? Oh where do we go, weird cat of mine, where do we go meow?

9.) The perils of mass-stocking a national chain, April 17th, the Easter stuff has been replaced with sunscreen and beach supplies at the Little Falls NY CVS pharmacy. Look out the window. Light snow in the air. The perils.