mar25 in idea barrages

1.) Make the world’s trendiest new craft beer by just mixing a half pound of dried hops into a pint of rubbing alcohol.

2.) Psychic visions of your future Twitter timeline are called “premoji”.

3.) A record store that only sells Nickelback albums called Sam Baddy would be hilarious to me, of course, but I am one thousand years old.

4.) I like to think that Jesus made Peter the rock of the church because Jesus was afraid of the apostles ending up being known as “Marky Mark’s Funky Bunch” after His passing.

5.) Conservatives claim they must have their murder-buttons to defend their “freedoms” from a police state. Conservatives say nothing or cheer when police gun down children-of-color for no reason. A little math done & you realize what “gun rights” are really about.

6.) If you print your NCAA picks on your bra, your bracket’s busted from the start.

7.) If we started calling chinchillas “dogmice” they would take over the internet with their cuteness in, like, five minutes. They would meme the hell out of the world. It’s all about names.

8.) Give up your murder buttons because it will save lives. Look in your heart & find the love there to yield your sense of power for the good of your fellow woman & man. Reject power, reject fear, reject 200 year old pieces of paper written by slaveholders. Choose love.