mar20 in idea barrages

1.) I am reasonably certain that these Windows 10 updates don’t change anything, just prompt your computer to try and sell you on Microsoft Edge like no one in the world wants, yet again.

2.) Comic book show and all I could see were toys from the programs I can’t watch anymore with my dad. Rick & Morty, Shield, Doctor Who, Venture Brothers and on and on and on. It’s funny where the hurt can sneak back up on you.

3.) All I’ve learned from these terrible polygamist “reality” shows is that… maybe complex marriage could work if everyone is equal, pan-sexual and equally boning each other… but this misogynist Mormon “plural marriage” is just the enslavement of sheltered vulnerable women.

4.) All these NCAA ads on the basketball tournament saying “student-athlete” over and over again, like, we get it, the exploiter of unpaid labour doth protest too much, jeez. It’s just like whenever the fake president says “believe me” so you know he just lied.

5.) The kind of terrible stretch in your life in a small enough town where someone you haven’t seen for a month or two offers their condolences and you honestly don’t know which loss they offer them for. It’s not their fault, of course, but damn.

6.) Weirdly, even though I was raised on classic and progressive rock and only occasionally find rap or hip-hop interesting, when scanning the radio locally, the newer rap and hip-hop is SO MUCH MORE LISTENABLE than all the bastard children of Limp Bizkit polluting the new rock dial.

7.) Teams in major conferences can’t be Cinderellas. Relative underdogs, sure, but c’mon, if you’re an eleventh seed from a major conference who squeaked into the field on past repute, you ain’t no David, you’re just a lesser Goliath.

8.) Go to Sea World and just keep yelling “THAT’S A MORAY!” until someone throws you out.

9.) The irony of the recurring jokes in the MCU about how Doctor Strange sounds like a made-up superhero name instead of the character’s given legal is that “Benedict Cumberbatch” is 10,000% less believable a name than “Doctor Strange”.

10.) Part of our cultural legacy is that, if America survives at all, when they’re remaking all our movies as holo-whatevers in 2085, they’ll understand the most frightening word in “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” to be “Texas”. And also, they’ll be right.

11.) The melodramatic frat-boy was all like BROE IS ME.

12.) Your Rolling Stones parody about Fraggle Rock will be “I Can’t Get No Radish Action”. It will be… pretty terrible.

13.) It’s easier to draw three dimensionally with Crisco than butter. It’s complicated but it’s basically foreshortening.

14.) Your stoner prepper youtube channel will be called “Kushcraft Survival”.