ja27 in idea barrages

1.) I’ve never once in my life been motivated by negative reinforcement. I’ll never understand those people. Doing something to “prove someone wrong” is the farthest idea from my mindset ever. “You’re doing good and here’s how you can do even better, keep going!” is what fuels me.

2.) It’s hardly the coldest night of the season, why is this night cutting straight through to my bones?

3.) Your challenge is to produce an internet cooking show, all “cougar”-ed out, called THE BRAIZIN’ HUSSY.

4.) How first world is this, am I, admitting to myself that this is the most hungry I’ve ever been in my life and it’s… not because there aren’t mountains of food everywhere around me, rather because I’m on a diet. Yikes. Does ADMITTING how first world it is absolve me at all?

5.) I don’t remember all the ideas for my concept album entirely comprised of Guns N Roses parodies about Garfield but I’m certain the title was going to be “Appetite For Lasagna” and the Rocket Queen riff would’ve been about his girlfriend Arlene.

6.) Now I’m mashing up the Beatles “Rocky Raccoon” and Dan Bern’s “Estelle” in my head and it’s no wonder my sense of humour is almost entirely inaccessable to anyone other than myself. But man, do I laugh at my own jokes, would not believe how funny I find me.

7.) Wonders indeed never cease. Oh, our individual abilities to see the wonders can cease and Christ knows we all will cease as well, by fire or in our sleep, but the wonders continue onward. The wonders are rare, for certain, but they’re there to be seen with the right kind of eyes.

8.) It’d probably REALLY mess with the right-wing conspiracy-entertainment complex if we could convince some militia podcast wackjobs that the Biblical number of the Beast is a crypto-currency block-chain. Imagine Alex Jones’s head exploding at the thought.

9.) She turns out to be a witch, that’s the twist at the end of THE SCRYING GAME.

10.) whenever I read horoscopes
I think how they would all apply
to any given human being, just
depending on their mood

we read specifics in the general life
we see angels in the night-light’s glow
we build patterns out of anything
that’s how we used to find our food

11.) Had Eminem been from Utica and not Detroit, instead of MOM’S SPAGHETTI it would’a been TONY’S RIGGIES and you damned well know it.

12.) Is mansplaining a winter sport like hockey an act of Cansplaning?