ja26 in idea barrages

1.) The hardest night of every diet is the next night. It not only never gets easier, it gets very slightly harder every single day. For the rest of my life, I guess? I’m sure quitting smoking is a lot harder but I think the mechanism of perpetual escalation must be similar. The upside, though, The upside of a strict diet is that it has helped tamp down my recurrent existential dread that someday I will be dead and not exist anymore because, hey, at least then I won’t have to be struggling to not eat six PBJ sandwiches so as to briefly know happiness again.

2.) If Mormonism had any kind of sense of humour “GET HIGH ON LDS!” would be a hell of a catchphrase.

3.) Leaving in a coupla mins to pick up a dear old friend from the airport. Apparently, they invented a seven in the MORNING recently. Good for them. The advance of technology and all that.

4.) You know, we might not have immediately known PAUL BLART MALL COP was terrible if they had even tried slightly on the title. INSECURITY. There you go. Two seconds of thinking, there’s an idea that doesn’t immediately broadcast that your movie’s lazy schlock.

5.) If you think athletes standing up for people who’ve been murdered by cops for no reason, without the police even seeing justice for the murders after the fact, is “needlessly political”, just thank your God you’re privileged enough to be THAT out of touch with reality.

6.) The fake president tried to have Mueller fired because he was installed in a rank perversion of the democratic process and doesn’t believe in the democratic process at all. He is a silver-spoon authoritarian and not a legitimate president. Always remember that Trump’s junta was founded on working with a foreign dictatorship to launder stolen espionage through Wikileaks which, at heart, is a rapist hiding in the Ecuadorian embassy’s closet, clutching at straws to get away with his rapes. Always remember.Always remember that.

7.) Also, to un-political for a moment, HOW IN THE JESUSING CHRIST ARE THE Milwaukee Brewers UPGRADING THEIR OUTFIELD WITH YELICH and CAIN while the Mets in NEW YORK CITY have acquired Jay Bruce and a bag of magic beans this off-season? GOOD. GRAVY.

8.) I would be 17% more likely to consume vegetarian hamburger replacements if they were branded as “TEAM META-MEAT”. Because I am a terrible human being.