dxxx in idea barrages

1.) If someone offers you mayonnaise, the correct response is to say “I second that emulsion”.

2.) Home Depots are very important in Los Angeles during the holidays as they’re an easy place to meet an actual carpenter named Jesus.

3.) It is bad enough “Simply Having A Wonderful Christmastime” exists but unironic covers, I dunno, it’s going too far.

4.) My brother’s scale said 301.6 for me today.

5.) The stoner G.I. Joe will be called Blunt Force.

6.) A common complaint by Amish parents is “close the door, what, weren’t you raising a barn?”

7.) You know who wasn’t all “You Only Live Once”? Jesus. Ain’t never seen Jesus social media out “YOLO” because He wouldn’t lie.

8.) “Nostalgia for times before you were born, that’s loner stuff. Not even judging, sometimes it’s good to be a loner but, come on, that’s some loner stuff” they said, putting on a record from the goddamned Twenties.