dxi in idea barrages

1.) “Yeah, I’m kind of a big deal in the half-bee witch community,” she said, totally bumblehagging.

2.) When your friends are Catholics who are gonna have one of those six hour long High Mass weddings where it’s gonna be 5 hours 50 minutes about some guy named Manny and 10 minutes about the happy couple, not inviting you is how you know they like you.

3.) At least once this holiday season, impulsively grab a Christmas candle out of a tasteful display, start swinging it around madly yelling “VWOOM, VWOOM, I’M DARTH VADER, VWOOM, VWOOM!”

4.) Some people are so caught up in self-definition and ego that to admit they were wrong would be to have to basically reconstruct their entire identity.

5.) Seriously, press, stop worrying about angering Trump by telling the truth and losing access to him. The dimwit says everything he thinks on Twitter, access to him is as free as it is meaningless.

6.) Anyone saying Die Hard is their fav Christmas movie has clearly forgotten that Gremlins was a Christmas movie.

7.) If you are thinking your phrasing is so unclear that you have to use the showy superfluous Oxford Comma, maybe go back and make your sentence clearer instead of engaging in the Performative Grammar that is the Oxford Comma. I have similar feelings about the semi-colon.

8.) MAGA actually stands for Make America Gag Again.

9.) If I could paint, I would definitely paint “The Pearl With The Girl Earring”.

10.) Only way you’ll get me to buy into Porgs at this point is if it turns out their diet consists solely of Gungans.

11.) They’d hoped the testicle transplant surgery would be an unqualified success but the results were kind of a mixed bag.

12.) If you stabbed a man to death with your sharpened mustache then cut off and burned the evidence, would they be able to convict you for follicular homicide?

13.) If you spend half your lifetime looking for something worth saying and you spend half your lifetime learning how to say it… and then say it even just once… you got most of us beat.

14.) We are all coal and if we try to set fire too soon, we burn away. Diamonds are made not through quick flame rather through pressure and time.