s16 in idea barrages

1.) Physician, heal thyself. Surgeon, suit yourself.

2.) We’re all shape-shifters. It’s just that we don’t have any control over it and it takes months and years to do.

3.) If you think it is freedom to be able to choose to make or let others suffer, understand that your freedom is everyone else’s tyranny.

4.) Display your maxis and tampons proudly on one periodic table.

5.) I’m still waiting for the day when the people who pretend that pickles aren’t awful give up on the prank they’re trying to play on us.

6.) There’s only two ways off the endangered species list.

7.) Strength is for suckers & marks. Strength grants Pyrrhic victories at best. Compassion and imagination are the engines of real change, baby.

8.) Another gripe with vapes: they are killing the holding up of lighters at concerts even worse than cellies did.

9.) I blew an amazing chance every time I graduated from A Thing but didn’t replace my tassel with a fat bundle of Twizzlers.

10.) A sad lumberjack is called a “glumberjack”.

11.) When the comic-con is snowed in by the blizzard for days and food is running low, be the first to say “Let them eat Kirk!”

12.) Some Halloween I’ll have the funds to commission a plastic mask of my own face and a smock with a drawing of myself saying “Trick Or Treat!”

13.) Don’t call it a “fun run” because that is a contradiction in terms.

14.) Put a cereal bowl on your chin. Shave around it. Voila. “Bowl Patch”.

15.) Your Christmas porno “Miracle on 69th Street” will go some… weird places.

16.) A shirt that says “Ithaca is George’s” with a really goofy picture of George Lucas on it.

17.) Cassini, you sounded like a light Italian lunch wine but you were a tool of great science, which is also good.

18.) The Exorcist Workout involves heavy use of Puzumba.

19.) I assemble words and woo the nerds, though I’m worse at the second than the first, lately.

20.) Maybe the real purpose of the fern farm was the fronds we made along the way.

21.) Get a whole band all in Worf cosplay. Cover Doors songs but in a guttural Klingon-y way. Call yourself “The Dorns”.