august capstone in idea barrages

1.) Thick. Broke. Resurgent.

2.) Sometimes the awful of the world overwhelms you and you just have to watch people make candy on youtube for three hours.

3.) Call your video “Tap For Sound” and every third goddamned thing on facebook will be an ad for you.

4.) The cat caught a mouse and the dog was so dumbfounded, shocked and jealous that he just started pissing on the rug. We call the dog “Ollie” but in his head he is “Olliemandias, killer of toys, look upon my works, ye humans, and despair!”

5.) Sleep is a lot more interesting when you start calling it “death practice”.

6.) The kind of writing that’s like a slow strip-tease, I’m no good at that kind of writing. I want to write up-front honest naked longing, start to finish.

7.) Sometimes, the ego dissolves and you realize how arbitrary your youness is. Then the fears creep back in and you’re a mechanism again.

8.) If I were a doctor, whenever I needed a fecal sample, I’d start my request with “Hey could you do me a solid and…“

9.) That classic “Chantilly Lace” where the Big Bopper expounds upon his desire for women to pretend they’re stupid so as to please him.

10.) The purpose of your television’s DVR is mainly banal-retentive.