a8 in idea barrages

1.) I stand by The Kaufman Reaction Paradigm: applause and hate are equally good signs at open mics, only tepid politeness is a sin.

2.) At your small business motivational workshop, take the stage to Michael Jackson’s “You Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’” because why not.

3.) Sometimes my life feels like an experiment on if I can back myself into such a tight corner that I end up phasing through the back wall.

4.) Pay no attention to the man behind the hurtin’.

5.) Maybe they called you “baby” when singing about the Love Shack or maybe they were referring to a baby-version of a Love Shack.

6.) IT’S A FIDGET SPINNER THAT LOOKS LIKE A DRONE! IT’S A DRONE THAT LOOKS LIKE A FIDGET SPINNER! IT’S CAPITALISM IN THE PALM OF YOUR HAND!

7.) In some pictures, Jack White looks like Danzig’s nerdy little brother who doesn’t lift.

8.) On game shows, contestants always mention their wonderful/beautiful husband/wife. I wonder how many are cheating on them.

9.) Am I disappointed that the #SMILF hash-tag isn’t about people with a Smurfette fetish? Not disappointed but certainly surprised.