j27 in idea barrages

1.) The next time someone mentions anal lube, ask them “you mean like lube for obsessively precise tasks?”

2.) It’s not that we were put specific places for a reason. It’s… here we are, wherever we are, shaping ourselves that we might do good here.

3.) Freedom from tyranny, from cruelty, from selfish small-mindedness, is rarely ever won FOR us. If ever at all, it is won BY us. Maybe.

4.) The good news is there’s no Illuminati or Lizard Aliens or anything, they all would’a intervened by now. Just cruel idiots stacked 100-high.

5.) End game of this underarm cyst is “it’s draining” but any more description of the proceedings is unfit for public discussion. Nothing coming out of a human body should smell like Brussel Sprouts. I don’t care if you’re having sex with The Swamp Thing. Nothing. All in all, the stuff coming out of the cyst that just burst on my armpit is less disgusting than the fake president.

6.) If Cthulhu rapped he would be called “Squid Rock” and still be a less troubling candidate for public office than Kid Rock.

7.) There are few things I’m prouder of than how the poetry open mic I help run is a safe space for young LGBTQs. Screw you, fake president.

8.) Remember: he is not the president. Presidents are made in free & fair elections, he’s just a game show host occupying the White House.

9.) Moses, rapping the need to keep God’s day holy, “listen alla y’all, it’s the Sabbath Clause, listen alla y’all, it’s the Sabbath Clause”

10.) First they came for the Muslims, then the Latinos, then the trans, then the gay.... when do they come for you?

11.) Natural childbirth is a crowning achievement.

12.) In this nightmare, I was back at my medical courier job where I was overworked and disrespected and I was suicidal. Dark dark dream.