718 in idea barrages

1.) Your album of Madonna EDM remixes will be called “Justify My Wub”.

2.) Only tonight did I realize how great a mash-up of Zep’s “Immigrant Song” and the Dr. Who theme would be.

3.) Salvador Dali’s parents were murdered by an eyeball after a screening of Zorro when he was a child.

4.) The opposite of Madballz would be Adoraballz, right?

5.) Today I learned Canada doesn’t call them “MREs” they call them “IMPs”. Even their MILITARY RATIONS are adorable.

6.) Dear How Its Made: Your How Its Made on “Industrial Fans” didn’t mention Nine Inch Nails at all. Bad form.

7.) I love how George RR Martin watched Star Wars and thought to himself “What really makes a fantasy classic is siblings making out.”

8.) I’d rather America be good than great, anyway. Greatness is flashy and vain and cruel. Goodness is giving and humble.

9.) Rapping “Insane In The Membrane” as the movie Bane in that weird half-Vader voice, there’s an idea.

10.) Every meal can be a “guilt-free meal!” if you stop listening to people who fat-shame you and accept you’re gonna die eventually either way.

11.) I ate the pizza. I ate all of the pizza. I may have pizza poisoning. Goodbye, cruel The Bad Timeline.

12.) Maybe hipsters just dress like that because they’re confused about gentrifying and think they gotta be old timey gents to do it.

13.) If Subway gets to call their meat slappers “sandwich artists” I wonder what a “sandwich performance artist” would look like.

14.) Tips for not going crazy at the end of an age: Only use your cell phone as a cell phone. If you’re gonna social network, haul out the lappy.