july 17 in idea barrages

1.) On a cosmic scale, all tattoos are temporary.

2.) Cobra’s hypnotist Dr. Mindbender is the evil twin to G.I. Joe’s marriage counselor Dr. Bindmender.

3.) All us old guys on our laptops/all you young kids on your phones/all together in a cafe on the Twitter/bitching how we feel alone.

4.) Just like a Taco Bell ad, Sleepaway Camp ends with a dong.

5.) Y’all moved time and space and broke all the rules to not have a woman president, now a woman rules all time and space. Suck it, MRAs.

6.) Blink-182 naturally decays into two atoms of Terrible Green Day-91.

7.) Open mic tip: if you’re coming up after a jam band, you probably definitely have time to get in that trip to the restroom.

8.) Your hipster molecular-gastronomy ice cream shop will be called Cirque De Sorbet.