july 15 in idea barrages

1.) My question about the teevee show GOTHAM is… when are they gonna finally get the ham?

2.) Don’t be too hard on the Kool-Aid Man, he’s been going through a lot of things lately.

3.) The Bluths are the Trumps except everyone is Gob.

4.) Culture puts used gum underneath your mind’s desk. Don’t ignore it. Examine it, explore it then clean it off and move on.

5.) He can magically turn his hair into a deadly weapon but everyone in France thinks he has cheese powers because he’s “The Fro-Mage”.

6.) If the Trump “administration” were a movie, it would be the second scariest movie of all time, still topped by THE DARK CRYSTAL.

7.) 3:25 AM, the middle-aged male subject googles “what is the difference between vanilla and french vanilla”. A few egg yolks, it turns out.

8.) The CAPTAIN AMERICA movies needed a tie-in cereal called BUCKY CHARMS and you damned well know it.

9.) Sometimes you just think “It’s too bad Jim Backus never voiced a Wookie named Chewbackus” and admit your brain is broken.

10.) Notice how the term “ROI” tends to be thrown around by people who think they’re the kings of us, “roi” being French for that.

11.) Does famous racist fake president Trump actually have a lawyer named “Ty Cobb” or is God just messing with us at this point?

12.) Broccoli just SEEMS healthier than cauliflower because it’s GREEN.

13.) If you had no morals whatsoever, you could get rich claiming to have a genetic test for what kind of craft beer you should drink.

14.) If you could prove that there was a drop of Mumford and Sons sweat in every bottle of kombucha you sold, you’d clean up.

15.) They were wandering houseless frat boys looking for a home. They were the bromads.

16.) Does Pete Rose have a signature wine called Pete Rosé?

17.) I posit an alternate universe where Gallagher is actually the Oasis brothers’ dad.

18.) I want a He-Man/Harry Potter crossover so Skeletor can call him “Dumble-Dork!”

19.) We don’t need VR, social networking is already an inescapable reality overlay where you access an alternate architecture of meaning.

20.) Balder ain’t gonna go to your Christmas party. Balder don’t play that.