julyfive in idea barrages

1.) The stars look down at the humans and think “Animals that can talk, this is the most amazing thing ever!”

2.) Yes, putting the wings on an air conditioner is NON-COMPLEX but it sure ain’t easy. Dexterity is my dump stat.

3.) May this day be the beginning of our second independence from a born-rich idiot who lives in shitty castles, Donald Trump.

4.) Don’t trim up for bikini season. Call it “your thigh brows”. Declare success.

5.) Guys called “Joey Chestnut” used to be sly well-dressed assassins not record holders for eating processed meat, THANKS MILLENIALS.

6.) Is a single off the BABY DRIVER soundtrack a Minnie Driver?

7.) Mis-Ter Fro-Do Bagg-Ins, Mis-Ter Fro-Do Bagg-Ins, Mister FRODO BAGGINS, FRODO BAGGINS, BAGG-INS BAGG-INS!

8.) Realization: Whitney Houston’s “I Wanna Dance With Somebody” & Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” are almost exactly the same song.