julyone in idea barrages

1.) That cornball Sterling said he’s “never seen a spate of injuries like this year’s Yankees.” LOOK A COUPLE MILES EAST IN QUEENS, JACK.

2.) This is what happens when you reject good people for not being 100% ideologically pure, when you damn pragmatism. The monsters slip in.

3.) It turns out 83% of film executives are just colonies of frogs living inside business suits, explaining the trend “Reboot, reboot, reboot.”

4.) The overlooked Star Wars porn parody title is, of course, A NUDE HOPE.

5.) If we make it through this and ever get a democratically-elected 45th president, so many books will be written on “Trump Depression”.

6.) Retirement should have a cooler name like “Eternity Leave”.

7.) Your album of songs inspired by obscure Garfield trivia will be called THERE GOES RHYMIN’ LYMAN.

8.) If Donald Duck gave you the finger, would he be “flipping you the ape”?