may11 in idea barrages

1.) Well, if democracy survives this, at least we’ve now debunked “unless they’re 100% pure, they’re lesser of two evils” thing forever.

2.) At Titanic Speed-dating, ice breaks you.

3.) I’m surprised that hipster foodies haven’t started calling slow roasting “slowsting” yet.

4.) A dating service specifically for the divorced called The Formers Market.

5.) The Ghost Rider of Florida Retirement Villages in an adorable flaming Rascal Scooter. Arch-villains: The Blue Plate Specialists.

6.) I hope there’s a Christian fighting game where you convert your defeated foe and the screen screams “SPIRITUALITY”.

7.) I am loving the people who are like “no, Nixon was my parents’ monster, he was BAD, my Trump is GOOD!” Total lack of perspective.

8.) When people say “private message me on the back end of my channel” on youtube, I’ll admit, I giggle.

9.) When the pocket knife ad says “smooth flipping action”, I imagine it like a watered down 90s cartoon fake-cursing. “SMOOTH FLIPPING ACTION!”