may10 in idea barrages

1.) The idea you may just be a splinter of the universe exploring itself before it rejoins the whole doesn’t make the day-to-day any easier.

2.) I am a garlic bagel with strawberry cream cheese. Awesome but only if you give it a chance despite how weird it looks.

3.) My favourite term for “survivalists” who like to pretend they’re military when they’re just mall ninjas is “full-metal jackoffs”.

4.) You can gauge how phallic your alien design is using a Giger Counter.

5.) Curly from the Three Stooges loved nyuk-nyuk joes.

6.) Everyone wants a beach body but I got like two beach bodies at once, that should be double-hot.

7.) WHOA Jack Benny, ram-a-lam, WHOA Jack Benny, ram-a-lam, Jack Benny’s so cheap, ram-a-lam, bread bags on his feet, ram-a-lam

8.) 1890s baseball names were often perfect 2010s burlesque/dragshow names