my 2000th prosebox post in idea barrages

1.) I PUT A SPELL ON YOU, NOW YOU’RE A MIME, I PUT A SPELL ON YOU, NOW YOU’RE A MIME

2.) Salman Rushdie really pissed off the vegans with “The Seitanic Verses”.

3.) Photoshop’s slogan should be “Pics And It Didn’t Happen”.

4.) Your Tuvan-throat singing Ozzy cover band will be called Yak Sabbath.

5.) Balloon animals used to be so cheap, I blame inflation.

6.) If Lady Gaga gets to call her audience “Little Monsters” I think if I ever get one, I’ll call ‘em “Little Munsters”.

7.) Making up something better than reality is easy. Admitting it’s a fabrication when people want to believe it real, that’s the hard part.

8.) What do gorillas have as part of a balanced breakfast? Lice Crispies.

9.) Jackson’s Law: The more you overgroom your eyebrows, the more you are going to look like Michael Jackson.

10.) Your boutique rice wine will be called Helen Mirin.

11.) Today I learned there can even be drama in a subculture as esoteric as youtube pocket knife reviewers. Humans gonna human.

12.) THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF KID ICARUS, AGE OF KID ICARUS, KID ICARUS

13.) Bane flips through the channels. Bane sees THE UNBREAKABLE KIMMY SCHMIDT. Bane thinks to himself “Ah, we will see about that, Miss Schmidt”.

14.) Industrial espionage in the snack-chip industry is known as Wisecracking.

15.) A shapeshifting alien spy sent to Earth to ruin music called Skrullex.

16.) “Still Room To Register For The Boilermaker Marathon” means “Still Time To Spend A Morning In Excruciating Pain While Drunks Yell At You”.

17.) I shouldn’t make all these jokes about frat boys, it’s all such bro hanging fruit.

18.) Thinking of people as “your fans” is the first step down the path to madness. They are your work’s audience. You are incidental.

19.) A Black Widow/Hawkeye film called “Avengers: And The Rest”.