227 in idea barrages

1.) IRC Chat: Getting Back To Your W00ts.

2.) Pretend to confuse “quinoa balls” and “Ben Wa balls” whenever you can.

3.) Ardent Rue McClanahan devotees are known as Blanche-Davidians.

4.) Step 1: Create a weed-infused corn chowder. Step 2: call it “calm chowder”. Step 3: count your money.

5.) A cow-rustling wrestler called The Uddertaker.

6.) Ironic that Trump’s people hate a good celebrity roast, they’re so nostalgic for getting to do work with ovens.

7.) These lefties declaring the death of the left doubling down because they can’t admit the horrors they aided by not backing HRC.

8.) Your movie about a fraternity at The School of The Americas will be called “Slaughtering People Like Animals House”.

9.) “Business as Usual”? God, “business as usual” was sublime and humane compared to this slow descent into hell.

10.) It’s all either Liberation Ideology or Libation Theology, baby. It’s all either struggle or anesthesia.

11.) When there’s a choice between being right & doing good, sometimes the latter won’t work but the former will always end in fire.

12.) No scandal ends a dictatorship. MAYBE a popular uprising BECAUSE of a scandal but… dictatorships are the heartiest beasts.

13.) We can build houses to protect us from the weather. No walls can protect us from walls.

14.) Barthy from YOU CAN’T DO THAT ON TELEVISION as a German cannibal: “What do you think’s IN the BURGHERS?”

15.) Internet Wayback Machine, sure, but where is the Internet Tayback Machine?

16.) Little Caesar’s ads calling it “Detroit-style” pizza. Jesus Christ, hasn’t the Motor City suffered enough?

17.) Spiders, man/spiders, man/thinks he’s covered in spiders, man/can his hands change in size?/no they can’t, he’s just high

18.) An elderly crime spree is called a “grampage”.

19.) They could’ve just called Viagra “Sex-Lax”.

20.) Thought I’d play piano in a rock band or first base for the Mets/but hand-to-eye’s no gift of mine/so instead I write any chance I get.

21.) We’re gonna put on bandanas and boots and wander into town, tellin’ the kids its okay to be artists, we’re gonna be inspirados.

22.) Me, I’m just about one-third libido and two-thirds burrito.

23.) I’d rather see things you wouldn’t believe than believe in things I can’t see but, hell, that’s just me.

24.) Sometimes I see Kellyanne Conway and think, Jesus, Courtney Love didn’t age well.

25.) Pretty words in opposition to tyranny by the comfortable mean less than nothing if not backed up by action.

26.) Is there a musical about crappy stores in the Middle Atlantic States called “Wawa Land”?

Last updated February 26, 2017