225 in idea barrages

1.) Your acrobatic axe-fighting superhero will be called LimberJack.

2.) been all kinds of places/the benefit of no destination/got postcards & pennants I have saved/I hope to get more before the grave

3.) The future is female, the future is brown, the future is gay and as a straight white dude, I’m happy to just help clear the way.

4.) I didn’t think the “CHIPS” movie could look worse but then the hashtag “ChipHappens”. Good. Lord.

5.) Your Catholic version of the musical RENT “LENT” will do very poorly.

6.) Billionaires only exist because they’ve convinced you that giving them the right to be as such benefits you somehow. (Spoilers: it doesn’t.)

7.) You may not accept property as theft but you must admit at best its just borrowed until death. Then let compassion fill in the rest.

8.) Of course they use “states rights” to justify trans-discrimination. That’s how the same type of bastards justified slavery.

9.) Each time a group loses basic human rights, look some write-in-vote conspiracy-theory Berniebro in the eyes & say “But her e-mails”.

10.) They’re only okay with white Christian straight men who don’t smoke pot. No wonder their “entertainment” is so goddamned boring.

11.) I wonder if I sew the seeds of crises
subconsciously in the hopes
that I might be pushed
into directions by them while I,
Hamlet-like,
indecide my way through waking life.
Or do I
give my inner-self far too much credit?

12.) There’s only two times I prattle on endlessly: when I’m nervous and when I’m not nervous.

13.) I wanna sneeze in front of the pope. Just to see what happens.

14.) Buy a storefront across from an airport in a marijuana-legal state. Call it “The Doobie Free Store” & start counting your money.

15.) I can still devour a good long book in a couple of hours. The internet hasn’t yet robbed me of this. I was afraid.

16.) Live like you’re gonna be so well known for being great at whatever it is you do that when they write books about that thing, you’ll have pull-quotes on the dust jackets and they’ll only have to write your name. Not what you did. Not what titles or awards you garnished. Just your name. That everyone will already know anyway.

17.) I still and always will play the “who would I shack up with if we crashed on a desert island” game in my head on airplanes. Every single time. I’m a terrible person in some ways but I try to be honest about it. “Is that her boyfriend next to her?” I ask myself, “Will we have to eat him?”

18.) Parts of the San Fran airport are so retro-70s chic its like the sets from that new X-Men show LEGION threw up all over the place.

19.) The secret to being alive’s admitting you’ll never have a goddamn clue what you’re doing, just try to be good to others & hope it works out.

20.) Write a book about wandering around Kingston Ontario dressed like a leprechaun getting drunker and drunker. Call it HARRIGAN’S WAKE.

21.) These are the days you think “oh if I could only debase myself by siding with the bigots I’d be rich for being okay with words”.

22.) “Is that a row of seats behind me or a reflection in the glass?” These are the questions at 430AM in an airport before it wakes back up.

23.) Jesusing Christ, my timeline is always a mess of gibberish when I’m updating from airport hops. Pretend I’m an insane genius, if you would.

24.) I have This Thing for comparing myself to great mythological figures, favorably. Good friends have called me on it kindly but I can’t stop.

25.) Burnt bridges? Jesus, they didn’t have to be burnt. They were constructed of spun sugar at best. A light rain to melt them away.

26.) Nothing a day and a half without sleep can’t cure. Nothing, a day and a half without sleep, can’t cure.

27.) Sometimes I felt like Jesse James, supposedly noble outlaw on the run. Sometimes l felt like Jesse James, dead by about 130 years.

28.) These bastards were never loyal to America, they were only loyal to whiteness and wealth, which they conflated with America.

29.) Take all of Nixon’s madness and cruelty. Add in Dubya’s ignorance and privilege. Have it installed by Russian spies while every right-wing peckerwood’s thunderous applause. Then imagine in it wearing a boot and stepping on your throat forever.