130 in idea barrages

1.) Point of order: don’t call him “Steve Bannon”, call him “known neo-Nazi propagandist Steve Bannon”.

2.) An alien describing the Super Bowl: “Rich people make minorities try to cripple each other but most people just watch to be marketed to.”

3.) If “she had private e-mails” drove you nuts but “he rejects the check of the judiciary” is fine just admit you’re a racist sexist hypocrite.

4.) Friedrich Steuben was an immigrant persecuted for being gay. He was the military genius who taught our 1st Revolution how to resist.

5.) As a Person of Girth, I can point out that Steve Bannon looks like the Emperor from Star Wars if he really really really let himself go.

6.) This #sagawards hashtag, what kind of saga are they warding off, exactly?

7.) Really, what IS a throw pillow but a stool softener?

8.) In JK Rowling’s terms, America isn’t Slytherin but we aren’t Griffindor either. We’re House Hufflepuff, we take all & it’s our best trait.

9.) The pitch is it’s about a team of four scientists who find Nazis and punch them. It’s called NAZIPUNCHERS.

10.) Alternate Fact: George Washington and Thomas Jefferson were bitter enemies until they realized both their wives were named “Martha”.

11.) Alternative fact: in football, if you move onto your third religion, that’s a two-point conversion.

12.) Pitch a series about a psychiatrist who becomes pope. Call it JUNG POPE. Do it. See what happens. Why not?

13.) Because I cannot know immediately which kind of food he wants, the cat considers me well-meaning but very very stupid.