126 in idea barrages

1.) Fascism is fundamentally about disregarding reality & replacing it with artifice that supports their hate. Remember that when engaging them.

2.) Call the pants you wear to Disney World your “Orlando Bloomers”.

3.) If everyone has a porn name and rap name, everyone must have a hipster name too. Mine is “Small-Batch Butter”.

4.) I want Tom Hanks to host a documentary series so it can be called “T. Hanks, For The Memories”.

5.) I dunno if it’s horrifying or a comfort to know that in the middle of a civilization’s death we must all still eat, sleep, pay bills, etc.

6.) The sad truth of human history is that intellect is much less a predictor of success than being born into success is.

7.) A Wil Ferrel “Incredible Hulk” movie called ANGERMAN.

8.) Your cooking show will be called ALL UP IN YOUR GRILL.

9.) True fact: nearly any phrase can be made worse by replacing one of the words with “cauliflower”.

10.) I find it weird how the fake president seems to always be talking about seasonal affective disorder. SAD!

11.) Is there any computing term more wistful and melancholy than “read only memory”?

12.) You know that your dealer’s a nerd when he calls it his “bag of holding”.

13.) If you let the light die in your heart you won’t be able to know what it looks like to tend it in the world. Hold onto a little of that joy.

14.) Eachtime I watch a youtube where a woman shows the 50 cosmetics she uses every day I marvel at all the places sexism are ruining everything.

15.) The extent to which a restaurant can pull off an undead feeling is its zombiance.

16.) Eminem needs to endorse a lemonade so we can mix it with beer and call it a Slim Shandy.

17.) If only the Outdoor community weren’t so riddled with crazy racists, the best name for a knife line ever would be Full-Tang Clan.

18.) We’re at the point where a military coup would be less damaging to our freedoms than the current “presidency”. Think about that.

19.) They’re gonna take away your health care and use the money to build a wall that punishes people even poorer than you.

20.) A great superpower would be the ability to tell the dog’s turds from curled up dead leaves in the snow on a consistent basis.

21.) Perfection is only perfect for a second. Perfection stagnates. Perfect is outmoded the moment things change. Don’t be perfect. Grow instead.

22.) Alternative facts started when people started pretending Family Guy was funny because it was easier than actually being funny.

23.) Steve Barron is human trash to the extent that you could stuff him in a Mr. Fusion and travel through time on the power.