post-cold barrage in idea barrages

1.) All terrible white “redneck rappers” like Kid Rock should now be collectively referred to as “Meth Head Man”.

2.) Dianetics and Diuretics being so close together is great because they’re both about taking the piss.

3.) I await the gritty humourless soft-reboot of the Raising Arizona cinematic universe as “Raging Arizona”.

4.) I wonder why there wasn’t an action movie about karate clone warriors called A FLOCK OF SEAGALS.

5.) Your dating app for hobosexuals will be called BINDL.

6.) Caramel Police to the tune of “Karma Police”?

7.) The ultimate 80s nostalgia mash-up would be The Millenium Falcor.

8.) Always pretend that you confuse “Tom’s of Maine” with “Tom of Finland”.

9.) Whenever you are around knife enthusiasts, slip “get your strop on!” into conversation.

10.) If you admit your friends’ drug habits while talking in your sleep, that’s narkolepsy.

11.) If you believe resources should be allocated to making the rich richer instead of helping people that’s your biz but admit thats what it is.

12.) Each of us knows at least one person in the Trump bubble we know will see thru it when the shit goes down. Talk to that person this weekend.

13.) To any reference of “circuit training”, I will always respond “you mean like learning to build a computer?”

14.) A book about fremen kids fascinated with local recluse Muadib “Moo” Radley would be called TO MOCK A KILLING WORD.

15.) Your jam band themed around early internet culture will be called “Rusted W00t”.

16.) Part of my mourning of our culture’s, our civilization’s death, is selfish. Interrogating the symbols of this culture’s all I’m good at.

17.) Your newest superhero will be The Amsterdam Hamster Man.

18.) This very day I discovered that the line in “Semi-Charmed Kinda Life” isn’t “I Believe In The Seventies, I Know”.

19.) When a medical ad says “BPH” I assume it’s a 50s sci-fi movie and it’s “Big Pulsating Head”.