1229 in idea barrages

1.) The Cheesecake Factory would be slightly less lame if they all dressed up like factory workers & there was a Cheesecake Foreman.

2.) Pretty sure the internet believes coconut oil if you have enough of it can cure anything. Even cancer, you just need to swim in a vat of it.

3.) A fic where you turn yourself into a sex toy then travel back in time to make love to yourself would be a literal self-insert.

4.) Religious people investing their entire notion of their holiday in a faceless corporation’s disposable coffee cup is America writ small.

5.) The new health craze is carrying two giant heavy boards strapped to your back to make all walking exercise. It’s called “cross-training”.

6.) It’s two latkes with a fully loaded baked potato between them. It’s called The Dublin Down.

7.) Using Ghostbusters 2 footage, with Vigo serving as The Master, cut an homage to MANOS called JANOSZ THE HANDS OF FATE.

8.) Your porno parody of Metallica will be called SKEET ULRICH.

9.) The answer will never be just behind a number on that notification bar but there may be validation there, hope that’s enough for now.

10.) Confidence is for idiots, shysters & the mad. Do what’s right without the safety net of being fully sure, it’s the only way to get it done.

11.) When a word we use to self-describe is used differently, we either change or demand the word not change, even though nothing changed at all.

12.) We use words, words use us. Words change with common usage, common usage changes us.

13.) I just never want to see a furry version of MST3K starring Dr. Furrister and TV’s Skink, that’s all. Just don’t get to that place.

14.) I remember demolished mall movie theatres from 20 years ago, I don’t remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

15.) Maybe Macaulay Culkin isn’t a disaster, he’s just been keeping the look for a BOYHOOD-style story about a malnourished werewolf.