1228 in idea barrages

1.) If your ukulele is pitched-up high and extremely out of tune, it is a Yokolele.

2.) I don’t begrudge people their happy relationships but if you could stop being attractive once partnered, it would make my sad life brighter.

3.) The next undiscovered element will always be the element of surprise.

4.) The Killer Banana would probably never see the chair, he knew he had appeal.

5.) The only upside to these apocalyptic last few months is that everyone was too depressed for cutesy holiday-themed twitter handles.

6.) The Enterprise’s gift shop is closed when they’re at warp. It’s largely impulse items.

7.) “Now he’s trading in his Cringer for a Battle CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT CAT, you oughta know by now…” The bad news of having an idea for a Billy Joel parody is then having to listen to Billy Joel songs to finish writing it.

8.) The mysterious neighbor in TO KILL AN OWLBEAR is, of course, Grue Radley.

9.) Yeah, I had a crush on Carrie Fisher because of Leia but she was my HERO because she was one of the great script-doctors of all time. Bowie, Prince, George Michael & Carrie Fisher all gone, no matter your gender or preference, ONE of ‘em shaped every 80s kid’s sexuality. Seriously how many sexualities of people born between ‘70 & ‘90 were shaped by either Bowie’s pants in LABYRINTH or Carrie’s bikini in JEDI?

10.) We’re all outta heroes, 80s kids. 2016 killed ‘em all. Now we gotta step up, be artists & resisters, no one’s gonna be that for us anymore.

11.) Maybe I subconsciously undermined all my paths to success thus far so that I wouldn’t die in 2016.

12.) Journos, here’s the lesson: when gov’t treats you like the enemy, no amount of sucking up will change it. Treat ‘em as the enemy right back.