122 in idea barrages

  • Dec. 2, 2016, 12:26 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) Don’t just be great. Be blasphemnomonial.

2.) Saturnalia’s the real reason for the season.

3.) They give you conspiracy theories to distract you from the straightforward obviousness of their tactics. Don’t let them fringe you out.

4.) A friend mentioned Neil Diamond was on Jimmy Fallon’s show. Not sure if I’m more shocked Diamond’s still alive or Fallon still has a show. I like to pretend Neil Diamond used to be a giant named Neil Coal and then he was crushed by a wizard spell.

5.) So World Series home field is finally going to be determined by best record, just as Western Civilization falls. Lovely.

6.) Journos normalizing Trump, traitors to the American experiment, taking Pink Floyd’s lead role in the cage over the walk-on part in the war. But the big papers have to maintain their establishment cred so they can continue to be read, only in hotels and car service waiting rooms.

7.) Our lack of a mash-up of the Doobie Brothers’ “Black Water” and the Meat Puppets “Backwater” disturbs me to no end.

8.) Your party crashing persona will be named “Marlon Rando”.

9.) Whenever I’m disappointed a media property I enjoy ends, I briefly pause my delusion that Weezer only had two albums and think the better.

10.) The least-bad Billy Joel song is, of course, “My Life” because then you can just think about how weird “Bosom Buddies” was.

11.) I sure as hell hope there’s an Irish-language dub of Rogue One so we can call it “Brogue One”.

12.) You will rap entirely about survival knives as the Full-Tang Clan.

13.) The communications gear for the A-Team was handled by Mr. IT.

14.) I wonder if there’s anyone named Doit who is constantly befuddled by Nike’s advertising.


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