barragegiving in idea barrages

1.) Your super villain will dress real posh, give unwanted breast enhancements to defeated male heroes and call himself “John D Rackafella”.

2.) You have within you the legions of thought and action with which to pull off a miracle. You just have to take the first step then the next.

3.) You are a shapeshifter, it’s just you don’t have any control over your process and it happens very very slowly.

4.) Boxing Day should be like Sadie Hawkins Day, you get to challenge one person to a boxing match they have to commit to.

5.) Before you ask someone to “do you a solid”, make sure they don’t have a scat fetish. There could be… misunderstandings.

6.) I look at old Macy Day parade pictures and realize it was a lot cooler when all the balloons were objectively accidentally terrifying.

7.) I support people who identify as gender-fluid but I think maybe they could pick a better word for it. Like, it’s like… gender… fluids.

8.) If you’ve been bad but not really bad, you go work in Heaven’s fast food restaurants for eternity. It’s called Burgatory.

9.) I really wish there was a Twitter from the end of the Roman Empire so we could compare this and that.

10.) They want to dismantle public schools because they know that education instills open-mindedness which undermines their hate.

11.) The problem with wide open spaces is they make us think things infinite, to be conquered and hoarded, this illusion of plenty drives us mad.

12.) Half of “The War on Drugs” has been about pinning minorities and the underclasses with felonies so as to “legally” purge them from voting.

13.) Weirdly, they knew they couldn’t get a CAREER Nazi as president, they’d need an amateur Nazi so they picked a goddamn game show host.

14.) A Who’s On First routine between Neil Patrick Harris and General Zod.