"that" day's barrage in idea barrages

1.) Why would you call yourself “Ghost Detectives” when you could call yourself “Spectre Inspectors”? I should get to name everything.

2.) Maybe like the Andre The Giant OBEY posters but with Alec Guinness and OBI.

3.) Your app for romantic connections at sporting events will be called “Hot Singles In Your Arena”.

4.) Cyclops should’ve been called “Weapon-Eyes” so when he took a baddie down, he could yell “You’ve been Weapon-Eyes’d!”

5.) In Soviet-occupied Transylvania, daylight time saves YOU.

6.) There should have been a Scottish Care Bear named “Huggis”.

7.) Donald Trump pretended he was about to get shot in Reno, adding to the list of things he misunderstands “Johnny Cash Songs”.

8.) Politically progressive vampires are really just vlad libs.

9.) The gods didn’t attack over-reaching humans, it was all a misunderstanding, it was just some kid named Hugh’s bris.

10.) The editing software was pre-built to help a user create Motown funk immediately, it was a pure jive turnkey.

11.) Write the story of an FBI agent recovering from grave injury defending Fort Knox just so you can call it “The Ingots Patient”.

12.) I enjoy knowing that, the way sunlight works on cloth, all nations’ banners put on the moon have long been literally white flags.

13.) The main advantage of potato wedges over fries is to be able to call people who eat too many “Sonic The Wedge-hog”.

14.) Unaged corn liquor is at best sub-bourbon.

15.) I wonder how often in Nebraska “THANKS Omaha!” jokes are made.

16.) Not enough people would get a “Nanos: The Building Blocks Of Fate” joke so I’ll just leave it here it in concept form.

17.) I meditate by gorging on media. I mediatate.

18.) Yes, I will continue to call the “alt-right” the alt-reich until it somehow catches on.

19.) I still say that “probiotics” sounds like the highest tier of Robot Wars fighters.

20.) There should be more synonyms for the word “thesaurus”.

21.) Math has determined that the cutest name possible for a cat is “Mr. Velvet Ears”. Thank you, math.

22.) Smuggle thousands of old Nintendos into the Middle East, just so the papers will call it “The Iran-CONTRA Scandal”.

23.) Whenever I see a “Millenial Republican” on a talk show, he looks like someone needs to explain to him that Draco Malfoy was not the hero.

24.) She will not be impressed by you referring to your sex moves as “Peter Parkour”.

25.) Two possible futures lay before us. One is flawed but full of slow progress & hope. One is pure in its horror. Meditate on choosing wisely.