barrage in the face of darkness in idea barrages

1.) I remember being told I was crazy in ‘01 for saying this would lead to failed states and endless war because that’s what history said. As a kid, it sounded cool to be in times that flirted w/ the end to flawed systems. Now, I see hope between the flaws & just want more time.

2.) In a flawed-but-functioning system, there is hope to make it better tomorrow. In collapse there are only feudal lordships and flames.

3.) It’s depressing when you see a movie that clearly was not developed beyond the napkin pitch. You needed more than just “MIB W/ ghosts” RIPD.

4.) I wanna believe we’re better than pettiness giving us a fascist in chief. But Anne Frank thought us all basically good too, did her no good.

5.) If Trump admitted flat-out to being on Putin’s dime, some campaign surrogate on CNN would beam “it’s good to have international relations!”

6.) Dieting sucks because a waist is a terrible thing to mind.

7.) We’re eye-blinks of life on a speck orbiting some obscure star. We’re only worth one-tenth of a damn if we are humane to each other.

8.) Scribe my fears on little flat rocks and skip them on a lake, it would do as much good but it’s all I can, so it’s all I could.

9.) Utopias are for suckering the privileged, dystopias are scaring the oppressed out of action, continuity of progress is where the change is.

10.) “I don’t want to meet anyone new,” he admitted, “I just want the people I already know to like me more and in sexy ways.”

11.) I wonder if the facebook location hoax was actually set up BY the gas co. to make people think they’d done something so they wouldn’t try.

12.) Next Halloween, dress as a petri dish and say “It’s a culture not a costume” a lot.

13.) How loud can you mutter, instead, “Braise the lard!” in the church without getting thrown out? This is the challenge of being a human.

14.) Less eyes in the back of your head, more thighs in the back of your head.

15.) If your Ohio based Chinese restaurant chain isn’t called “Cleveland Woks!” you’ve failed at the easiest part of your job.

16.) Less stoners went as Dankenstein this year than I thought would, if social media is to be believed.

17.) Mellon Collie and The Seemed To Have Been Split Infinitive’s Sadness.

18.) Still/I can’t help but wonder if/the fix/has been in/since/to ease in Reagan/they gunned down John Lennon/and/we haven’t had a leader since.

19.) The trick is/it’s not the thumbs that separate us/from the animals and daises/the trick is pattern recognition/but it also drives us crazy.

20.) We say that we’d believe her/we can’t because we’re cursed/so go and ask Cassandra/Cassie knows that we’re the worst.

21.) Someone tell Lucas just because the prequels accurately predicted our long national nightmare, it still doesn’t mean they were good.

22.) Know your limitations/befriend your limitations/invite your limitations for dinner/poison the wine/dump your limitations on the county line.

23.) Whenever a sportscaster mentions an athlete named Ramirez, I imagine it in the Kurgan’s voice. “RAHmirEZ.”

24.) If you want Destro on a sweater (whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa) knowing is at least half the game (knowing’s half the game)

25.) Less fait accompli and more fate’s accomplice, less a what if and more a what is this.

26.) Just name your sports panel show “Yell Stupid Things And Hope For Ratings”. For Christ’s sake.

27.) I pity the frowned-upon 2nd iteration of the Ouija board, the Luigi board. It has its charms, the planchette jumps slightly higher.

28.) One of Superman’s less-lauded ancestors was the Kryptonian candy maker Dub-El, known for his mint gum.

29.) Your corny fake-swear will be “sweet granola clusters!”

30.) Returning to the church to give Mass a second chance, he quickly found himself a bored-again Catholic.

31.) Any return to Howard The Duck’s home planet would have to involve his favourite wrestler, Quacksaw Jim Duckin.

32.) This program is increasingly riddled with errors, function is clogging. Time to power down for the evening.

33.) Don’t mistake history for a straight line. We’ve stepped backwards into dark ages many times. All it takes is good people not trying.

34.) This is the future, if we don’t fight it. Paranoid white men w/ guns power mad on waves of hate. Don’t opt-out to feel ideologically pure.

35.) The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to stand off to the side enjoying the privilege to nitpick irrelevancies.

36.) Online petition slacktivism, pasting in boilerplate to “save” you from facebook, all this “I said it so now it’s real” magical thinking.