104 in idea barrages

1.) My superpower is my left shoulder hurts whenever Donald Trump is saying or typing something stupid. That or my superpower is a torn rotator cuff.

2.) All the love of a “good” woman does is have you keep that terrible job to buy that ring. The love of a weird woman, that forges kings.

3.) Your bar/laundromat idea “Sudds” will go really well for about three days. All downhill from there.

4.) A parody of “The Beautiful People” about not wanting soccer shoved down your throat? “Don’t care about FIFA, don’t care about FIFA”.

5.) Spent my life trying to earn the brass ring, like they’d hand it to me if I just kept pushing. Noble? Nah. Afraid of falling in the lean. Do you earn it and then get it or do you grab it and then try to live up to it? Have I been trying the first way for too long?

6.) Your Christmas special “Hedwig and the Angry Grinch” will probably anger some parent groups.

7.) You never saw a Cheers/Aqua Teen Hunger Force crossover because Danson was forbidden.

8.) Your store for big-and-tall hip-hop stylings will be called “Paul Bunyan’s Boutique”.

9.) If we can’t agree on capital gains tax, can we at least agree to discourage toothless political satire with a Capitol Steps tax?

10.) The Halloween Pledge: I will not slut-shame or size-shame any costumes but I will stupid-shame where appropriate.

11.) Gov. Johnson in QUANTUM ALEPPO would’ve been a really funny skit for, like, a day and a half.

12.) Actually in “Blinded By The Light”, even more than mishearing “wrapped up like a douche” I hear “Shirley gave my anus curly-wurly”.

13.) All the funniest ideas, of course, are lost driving in the car where I can’t write them down or type them in before I forget.

14.) Your workplace sitcom about Catholic Limbo will be called “Phil In The Blanks”.