96 in idea barrages

1.) Famous people have songs written about them. Great people write their own goddamn songs.

2.) The sooner you admit that major college football can’t be a thing in the Northeast anymore, the sooner the hurt will stop.

3.) That’s the trouble with leather workers, they’re awl or nothing.

4.) In the end, a church bulletin is really just a bunch of articles of faith.

5.) Dr. Frankenstein couldn’t complete the monster yet, his heart wasn’t in it.

6.) You know that SOME craven film executive has tried pitching “FAMILY TIES Cinematic Universe”.

7.) When the pumpkin monsters rule the Earth, their human spice coffees won’t have much human in them, mostly just nutmeg.

8.) Your chiptune Doors coverband will be called The Dorks.

9.) The woodpeckers had ruined most of the town’s outdoor clocks but his was made of stainless steel so his timing was impeccable.

10.) Fight crime in a stars-and-stripes patterned long-sleeved tunic and call yourself Kaftan America.

11.) Your beaten heart, your bleeding heart, your bleating heart, etc.

12.) Your roleplaying game about rising from a stable boy all the way to knighthood will be called BARNS & NOBLES.

13.) Your softcore porn about rock stars of the 90s will be called FULL FRONTAL LOEB.

14.) A drum circle at the square dance was brought asunder by a love triangle, though others blamed the Pentagon.

15.) Then there was John Mellancamp’s real breakthrough album, BLAND ON BLAND.

16.) Your nerd-rap name is Tuvok Shakur.

17.) Your electronica bar will be called The Wub Shack.

18.) The cruise ship that hosted the convention for the American Association of Hat Refitters sadly capsized.