726 in idea barrages

  • July 25, 2016, 7:41 p.m.
  • |
  • Public

1.) Wishes made on pennies are well-intentioned.

2.) If I was going to make an intentionally bad parody song to mock myself, it would be “Order Of The Lonely Heart/Boner Of The Lonely Farts”. Not even “Odor Of The Lonely Farts” that would be too CLOSE to clever.

3.) I sure hope that Dollar Stores in Europe are called Euro Bureaus.

4.) Memes in Little Falls High School in the mid-90s: “Hi I’m Tree From Rattlebasket” “I’m the Herkimer County Dairy Princess, MOO!”

5.) There’s something weirdly white-privilege about the idea that there’s still some last-second way to reclaim the Democratic nomination for a male candidate, from a woman who won the majority of the votes mostly on the overwhelming support of African-American and Latino Democrats. Subconsciously white-privilege, not intentional, but still there. An odd dead-ender temper tantrum about being astonished that middle class whites can’t always get their way, like they’d rather regain the reigns of the American center-left than prevent Trump from being president. If you don’t believe an oppressive regime can set back the clock, look at the cosmopolitan pop culture of Turkey in the 70s. Look, I voted for Bernie too but expecting them to vacate the vote of so many just to please a few pissed off white people is kinda racist. I know it’d be funny to call our World War 3 amputations “Trump Stumps” but not funny enough to make it happen. Remember when you voted for Ralph Nader & at a critical juncture we were left with a president unsafe at any speed? Remember that.

6.) Man, I hate the extent to which baseball players whose value has been depressed because they’re domestic abusers is the new Moneyball.

7.) Pretend that you think the Finn character from “Adventure Time” is called Adventure Tim.

8.) Is there alternative-history rap? Is there steam-crunk? I think I’d love the hell outta steam-crunk.

9.) I feel like Windows is an overly attached ex stalking me on social media “I’ve changed, I’ve changed, for Windows 10 I’ve changed!”

10.) Sometimes I feel like the core premises of the manic pixie dream girl funneled into an oafish straight guy & the results were… mixed.

11.) For all the talk of Napster as theft, the way digital turned out, most musicians make as much off streaming as they did off piracy: nothing.

12.) Senator Warren is that brilliant hard-ass English teacher you loved because she pushed you. So rad.


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