721 in idea barrages

1.) I would kind of like a Cards Against Humanity expansion based on Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies art strategy cards.

2.) I saw a youtube video called “The Dark Side of Buzzfeed” and I wondered… there’s a light side to Buzzfeed?

3.) Scandinavia’s greatest director is Fjrancis Fjord Coppola.

4.) The Mediterranean’s most popular country star is Billy Ray Cyprus.

5.) If the Rapture means that every judgemental hateful jerk ruining everything leaves the planet, it sounds win-win for both sides.

6.) If you climb buildings in awkward showy ways to get your monsters, it should be called Parkourmon Go.

7.) If people without a mating drive are asexual, are people without a fursona self-awere?

8.) Interestingly, the people who we used to call “tree huggers” are now all super vocal about their allergy to tree nuts.

9.) I like how the RNC logos only have three stars in the logo because, yeah, they only represent Texas, Mississippi and Alabama.

10.) LIFE HACK: Just patent the concept of cease-and-desist orders, then no one can send them to you!

11.) Your cooking show that incorporates heavy motion-capture performance will be called BREAD AND SERKISES.

12.) Language shapes meaning while efforting to approximate it. We will never be exact but damn it I will get within a rounding error of meaning.

13.) Now that the Republican party is “just want to watch the world burn” evil, I kind of miss when it was “muh ha ha rule the world!” evil.

14.) If Ben Folds ever does a metal album, it had better be called “Ben, Folds, Spindle and Mutilate”.

15.) If you’re a megafan of Guster, does that mean you boast Gusters?

16.) That’d be fun, a fundamentalist Christian take on Hamlet “Rosencranz and Guilderstern Aren’t Dead”.

17.) Norway’s deconstruction of Bonnie and Clyde cliches was called “Natural Bjorn Killers”.

18.) When they judge you, they’re really saying “I’m afraid I’m wrong about myself so I want to make you like me to prove I’m right”.

19.) My weakness is I’ve had a whole lotta time to just think about stuff. My strength is I’ve had a whole lotta time to just think about stuff.

20.) Apollo from THE AUTHORITY is a sun-powered gay fellow, if only he were hairy, he could be a solar bear.

21.) Pac-Man Fever was pretty bad but nothing compared to Donkey Kong Ague or Asteroids Anal Discharge.

22.) Only date a baker if you can deal with a lot of kneadiness.

23.) Being human isn’t about being pure or untainted. It’s about being aware of your compromise and struggling with it every single day.

24.) Are Laura Ingraham’s supporters called Ingraham’s Crackers?

25.) Is it insensitive to say I’m expecting an appearance by the Force Ghost of Rob Ford at this RNC?

26.) The kind of summer night so goddamned Movie Set Perfect, so beautiful it makes you feel lonely despite yourself.

27.) I’ve been thinking a lot about cultural appropriation lately, where the line is or where the lines are. Is appropriating a subculture like goth or furry or something the same as appropriating a culture rooted in ethnicity or faith or class? Are they SOMETIMES the same and sometimes not, sometimes similar but differing in degrees? Can you culturally appropriate a food allergy? I dunno. These are the things I think about when I’m not punning or brooding.

28.) We’re all under the same sky but the position of the stars is at least a little bit different depending who and where we are.

29.) “Alt Right” is Latin for “Nazis that think they’re being clever”.

30.) Some are nearly benign, some are pure evil but all of them profit by convincing you you’re under siege. First, discard that feeling.

31.) I guess holding onto conspiracies depends on how real a world you can handle living in, how much of the truth’s randomness you can digest.

32.) In John Brown’s day it was assumed he was literally insane for thinking slavery could ever be ended, here is to madwomen and madmen.

33.) We will indeed overcome but never forget the “someday” part. We will overcome SOMEDAY. It might be gradual, that’s part of the deal.

34.) The army base had a cat box cleaner but he was court-martialed for dereliction of doody.

35.) Oh man, how badly do you have to mess up in life to make Ted Cruz look sympathetic? That is transcendent awful.

36.) You are a mechanism of empathy, you’re a holy mine of emotion. But you need to be alive afterward and thrive, reloading after the explosion.

37.) First your comic passes the Bechamel Test by involving a cream-infused roux then at the convention comes the fans doing sauceplay.

38.) An evolved Pokemon might suddenly have more limbs and can no longer say the words it used to? That’s some level-one body horror, actually.

39.) I wonder if “internet fame” drives people crazy faster or slower? Does the 24/7 performative “normalcy” inhibit or accelerate the isolation?

40.) A whole goddamn basketball arena of people who masturbate to “The Passion Of The Christ” but have never considered the guy’s compassion.